And, Therefore . . . Part II: Proofs that women shouldn't mention sexism!

A couple of years ago, after the Ten23 overdose, I read more comments on newspaper and social networking sites than usual and became rather overly well versed in pro-homeopathy logic. The result was startling - it ended up on various Spanish websites, a German one, and even as part of a university course.

Since my rant about sexual harassment, the wonderful website EverydaySexism launched, and one or two instances of misogyny coming up among the (depressingly fragmented this year) skeptical movement*, the same has started to happen with feminism. The more I read of feminist issues, the more people I see trying to cover them up, and the more annoyed I'm getting!

To be clear, most men I know are nice, fair, un-sexist, and upset when they see sexism occurring. And I have come across some who have genuinely been astonished and distressed to discover a behaviour they thought normal (groping, for example) is damaging and horrible, and changed their perception. So this probably rather unpleasant rant is only directed at** a small - but vocal - minority, which is highly offended at sexism's ever being pointed out or discussed. In the spirit of my homeopathy proofs, I thought it was time to make a note of their logic . . .

*For "movement", if you wish, please read "community" or "unherded cats" or whatever takes your fancy. That is seriously not something I can be bothered to have an argument about.

** For "directed at", please read "actually, not directed at them at all. Rather, directed at those who have attempted to engage with them, and need a laugh as an alternative to banging their head against a brick wall!"

THE AESTHETICS ARGUMENT
1) Feminists are always ugly.
2) Aren't they?
3) Look around. Yeah, everyone's laughing in agreement with me. So that's all right then! Shut your face, you frigid bitch, and go and iron my shirt.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM CALMNESS
1) You're overreacting.
2) You're also doing women who are real victims of sexism a disservice by getting so hysterical. They won't get taken seriously next time they're assaulted, all because of you whining so much that nobody believes women any more.
3) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE PERSONAL PREFERENCE OF WORDS ARGUMENT
1) Somebody used the word "misogyny" incorrectly.
2) A LOT of people do that; that is proof that their understanding is incorrect.
3) Obviously my own interpretation of the word is correct. There is no argument about that.
4) Therefore, nobody should use that word in any context other than that which has my signed approval.
5) Therefore, that covers the entire issue.
6) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE REVERSE SEXISM ARGUMENT
1) But women can be sexist towards men too!
2) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE REVERSE SEXISM ARGUMENT (2)
1) Why are you only talking about sexism towards women in this particular instance? That's really sexist of you! You're the ones at fault here!
2) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE NO TRUE (SCOTS)MAN ARGUMENT
1) I've never catcalled a woman in the street.
2) Therefore, why are you moaning where I can see it? That's not fair on me.
3) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE HUMOROUS ARGUMENT
1) We didn't mean it seriously about how this woman needs a good rape and that one should be in the kitchen making sandwiches. We're really confused about why you should criticise such comments.
2) Therefore, you're too serious.
3) And also too emotional to have a rational discussion with.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM SMALL HOLES
1) You made a statement which I consider to be incorrect or misrepresentative, despite the fact that it has nothing to do with the subject in question.
2) Therefore, the rest of your argument is also invalid.
3) Also, you're doing a great disservice to the people you misrepresented.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE CAUSATION ARGUMENT
1) I am not blaming women. I am just trying to analyse the causes of sexism.
2) That you have not covered every single one of my ideas and excuses in your blogpost or article is evidence that you do not care about the causes, you only want to blame men.
3) Like all feminists.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM MY POINT
1) This feminist has missed my point.
2) They always do that.
3) Yes, my point is much more important than all the opinions and experiences of all women in the world put together.
4) No, there is definitely no chance that she did understand your point, but disagreed with it.
5) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE COMPLI(E?)MENTARY ARGUMENT
1) But isn't it a compliment to be catcalled or groped?
2) You should be grateful men notice you. Fat or old or ugly women don't get this attention.
3) Yes, of course you live entirely to gain men's attention. Come on, you're a woman!
4) But it's not anyone's intention to scare, disgust, threaten, corner, embarrass or belittle you.
5) My interpretation is also valid while yours is not.
6) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE COUNTER ARGUMENT
1) It is also possible for men to be sexually assaulted by women.
2) This by definition negates the entire issue of sexual assault of women by men.
3) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE RAPE = THEFT ARGUMENT
1) Of course it's not right to say that a woman should dress modestly in order to avoid rape, there is no excuse for rape.
2) However, would you leave your house door unlocked?
3) That rape is violent assault on a living, moving being, whilst theft is of inanimate objects for a totally different purpose, is utterly irrelevant here.
4) Therefore, women should dress modestly in order to avoid rape. This is only common sense.
5) And it's illogical to complain about it.
6) And it is not insulting to men, because if it was, that would mean everyone thinks I'm a thief.
7) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism (or victim blaming, or rape).

ARGUMENT FROM BIOLOGY
1) We poor men just can't help it.
2) God/evolution/whatever made our eyes to be receptive to visual signals.
3) Therefore, it's your job to be modest.
4) We're only trying to help you here.
5) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
1) I'm not racist.
2) Therefore, I can't be sexist either.
3) Therefore, I shouldn't have to put up with this being discussed around me.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE LACK OF OFFENCE ARGUMENT
1) What's your problem? I'm not offended by what s/he did/said.
2) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE HISTORICAL ARGUMENT
1) You young things these days don't know how lucky you are!
2) When I was young, my mother was expected to do all the cooking and ironing. She didn't complain!
3) You young girls need to stop messing about on the career ladder and find yourselves a nice man!
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM THE VICTIM CARD
1) She's just playing the victim card.
2) Therefore, she can't be being honest.
3) Therefore, we don't welcome her opinion of sexism.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM THE VICTIM CARD (2)
1) But this woman was really horrible to me once.
2) Therefore, all women are horrible.
3) Therefore, any accusations of sexism are just part of their dishonesty and nastiness.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM THE VICTIM CARD (3)
1) Men only catcall and harass women to impress other men.
2) They are insecure. They need to look big in front of their mates.
3) Therefore, their perpetuation of a toxic culture and the effect it has on the victims and bystanders is irrelevant.
4) Also, you should be blaming society for feeding men sexist images like Page 3.
5) NB the above is valid whether you have suggested a cause or not. If you mention sexism, you're attacking men and avoiding analysis.
6) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM THE VICTIM CARD (4)
1) A woman once mentioned me in her blogpost about sexism.
2) That was horrible of her and you are stupid to agree with anything else she's ever said.
3) Therefore, everything you and she say is wrong.
4) And this is all about me.
5) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE SOPHISTICATED ARGUMENT
1) Will you stop pretending things are as black and white as that!
2) It's not as simple as you make out!
3) For example, what if a man has already started shagging a woman by the time she says no? Is it rape then?
4) Therefore, everything is complicated.
5) Therefore, it is better not discussed.
6) Also, you're dumb.
7) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM INTERNETTIQUETTE
1) Don't feed the trolls.
2) If you mention sexism, you're only going to be feeding the trolls.
3) That is unpleasant for other people.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM LANGUAGE
1) It's not misogyny to use misogynistic language in an ad hominem attack on a woman.
2) It's merely that I disagree with her views.
3) The fact that I attacked her in this manner, rather than state why I disagree with those views, is evidence of your obsession and paranoia.
4) Therefore, you can't tell the difference between misogyny and the good argument I made.
5) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE GOOD OLD DAYS ARGUMENT
1) Well I was brought up to be a gentleman, me.
2) I was taught to offer my seat to ladies and to hold doors open for other people.
3) These young girls go around wearing less* clothes than I go to bed wearing!
4) And then they blame other people when they notice that!
5) What do they expect? No sense of responsibility, these young things today.
6) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.
*The appropriate word here is "fewer". Yes, I am a pain in the arse.

ARGUMENT FROM A WELL-KNOWN CONCERN TROLL
1) She looks like junk.
2) Therefore, she can't be telling the truth about being sexually harassed.
3) Also, I agree with my friend that most people's views on this kind of thing are highly suspect.
4) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.
(Can't provide the source, sorry - I've blocked her, so no longer have access!)

ARGUMENT FROM THE ECHO CHAMBER
1) You have been caught speaking to other feminists.
2) Therefore, you are just shouting to an echo chamber.
3) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM DISTRACTION
1) But other nasty things happen too.
2) Therefore, you should be writing about those instead.
3) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.
(Source)

THE DAWKINS ARGUMENT
1) Women are better off in Britain/America/wherever the woman is than in some other countries, where oppression is worse.
2) It is not possible that sexism has varying degrees, and that a "mild" incidence of sexism could possibly be compared to a less mild one.
3) Also, mentioning one issue means, by default, that all other issues in the world must be being ignored.
4) Therefore, it is exceedingly damaging to women who are being oppressed worse if a woman mentions sexism.
5) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE ELEVATORGATE ARGUMENT
1) Elevatorgate.
2) Well, you know.
3) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM GETTING ANNOYED WITH SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET
1) But this woman who was talking about this the other day really annoyed me.
2) She treats women like poor little flowers, all this "trigger warning" business.
3) She was only insulted, stalked, had her address published and threatened with rape because she was so annoying.
4) That's nothing to do with sexism.
5) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

THE PROVOCATIVE ARGUMENT
1) If you're sexually harassed, it's your own fault for what you were wearing.
2) What has the fact that you weren't wearing anything provocative to do with my argument?
3) It's all evidence-based.
4) It's your own fault, you're just whinging and avoiding responsibility for your behaviour.
5) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

ARGUMENT FROM CONFUSION
1) Sexism is treating the opposite sex badly.
2) Assault is assault.
3) No, the two can never possibly be related.
4) This article "seeks to blur the lines between the two."
5) Therefore, this article is wrong.
6) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism (in relation to sexual assault).
(Source: some of the comments. I don't recommend a read!)

THE APATHY ARGUMENT
1) I don't see what the big deal is.
2) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.

Feel free to add your own.

Update, April 2013:
THE I DON'T LIKE LAURA BATES ARGUMENT
1) I never noticed this was a problem until Laura Bates pointed it out.
2) Therefore, it wasn't a problem before.
3) But now it is a problem.
4) That makes life worse for women.
5) That means Laura Bates is creating problems.
6) Or maybe I just don't like Everyday Sexism having a newspaper column.
7) Therefore, it shouldn't.
8) Everything would go so much better if you just stopped talking about these things!
9) Therefore, women shouldn't mention sexism.
(Has anyone else noticed this argument in the comments of a lot of Everyday Sexism columns? I have, and it's driving me nuts!)

Astronomy talks for the Orchid Project

I'm in the process of setting up a new project, which hopefully should have its own website soon, though I'm still looking for a name. I will soon be giving a series of astronomy talks, aimed at the general public, to fundraise for the Orchid Project which works with communities to bring an end to female genital mutilation.

I love giving astronomy talks, and have several left over from Tea with the Stars, plus ideas for many more. Hopefully, this autumn, I'll be starting talks at the Newington Green Unitarian Church, who with amazing kindness have offered me their building for free! (The talks will have absolutely no religious affiliation; they're open to anyone who likes astronomy.) You can find the place here; it's incredibly friendly. It looks like we'll be able to have tea, coffee, biscuits etc. too.

The talks look as if they are going to be once a month, probably on a Wednesday evening. A lot remains to be decided, such as the exact price and length. A few expenses will be involved, such as steward fees, but the rest will go to the Orchid Project. (I will of course provide spreadsheets of all the money that comes in and where it went, though I know nothing about accountancy.) There are so many human rights violations I want to help stop, and it's impossible to "pick one", but I choose to concentrate, for now, on female genital mutilation.

Female genital mutilation is the cutting off - often with scissors and unsterelized equipment, with no anaesthetic - a girl's external genitals. It is a very painful and dangerous practice. The Orchid Project explains in graphic language here. It may be part or all of her clitoris, clitoral hood or labia. At worst, the wounds left are sewn very tight shut, leaving only a tiny hole for menstrual blood and urine. She will then have to be cut open again for sexual intercourse and for labour, and may even be sewn up again - so she will have to be re-cut later - after birth.

This is not something unique to a few isolated African tribes, or insert stereotype of choice here. It happens in 28 countries across the world. And one of them is the United Kingdom. 

This was recently highlighted by programs such as Newsnight, and there was a spate of articles in the press. It was the beginning of summer - when girls as young as five may be taken to their parents' or grandparents' countries to be cut, or even to have it done right here in a British town. 

The Orchid Project have a success rate of over 70% of encouraging communities in Africa to give up FGM - and to publicly announce that they are doing so. In 2011, two thousand communities rejected the practice. This means not just passing laws, but informing all local people that you are doing so - to raise awareness of why, to point out that the practice is not required by any holy book, and to let your neighbours know that any girls they marry from your town will not be cut and why. 

Why, then, does it still happen in the UK? Orchid Project point out that when populations emigrate - become "diaspora" - they may try to retain their cultural identity even after their original countries have moved on. At the beginning of the 20th century, most women in China still had their feet bound. Within twenty years, the practice abruptly dried up. It was clung to for longer, however, in populations in California.

The other reason it happens in the UK is worry about intruding on other cultures. I have to tackle with my own private voice - "Who are you, an unaffected white girl, to tell people you don't know how to bring up their children?" The best answer I can give is that I believe religious rights end when human rights are violated. France and the UK made the same laws at the same time, but France enforces them while we do not. Despite an estimated over 20,000 girls being mutilated, here or abroad, the Crown Prosecution Service has not prosecuted a single person. People in France - and, most significantly, ladies from the ethnic minorities in question - ask why.

Makumi McCrum, a policy advisor to the Scottish government, remarks that FGM is "a violation so intrusive and personal that many people adopt a culture of silence as it is humiliating and embarrassing to talk about." More worryingly, Nick Cohen writes: "Anti-colonialism is no longer an opposition to foreign occupation but opposition to the ‘inappropriate’ imposition of ‘western’ values on the formerly colonised. Fear plays its part in the silence. I know doctors who worry they will be accused of racism if they protest about the mistreatment of girls. They suspect that their employers will not report protesting parents to the police but punish them instead."

A woman named Muna, who left Somalia and now lives in Glasgow, told the BBC: "They are so terrified and they are using cultural sensitivity as a barrier to stop them from really doing anything. What would you do if the girl had blue eyes and blonde hair? Would FGM still be carrying on in the UK?"

On a similar note, Iram Ramzan tells us, "It is not politically correct to continue to ignore the plight of ethnic minority women." As with "honour killings" (which rather than simply being called "murder", which it is, have their own special sensitive name), this is violence, and should be treated as such. This is not some delicate or essential religious practice. It is about the control and subjugation of women. There are no benefits, and there are terrible physical and psychological consequences. (If of course an adult woman wants it done, that's a different matter altogether.)

There's a place for cultural sensitivity, and that is not allowing children to be wounded and women to be put in agony and danger.

So what am I doing about it? At the moment, I'm not directly getting involved. I don't know how and I don't feel I know enough yet. Instead I'm doing something I love doing, and that can bring people a bit more knowledge and enjoyment. Hopefully, that will not only help Orchid Project and women in danger, but also raise awareness among people in London.

I expect the talks will aim to last 40 minutes or so, and be followed with question and answer sessions. Subjects will probably include: Galaxy Zoo; the Cassini mission; relativity and black holes; the life of a star; astrochemistry; spectra; various aspects of astronomical history and women in science. And probably more as I think them up. What I can't do is practical astronomy. The only thing I can do with telescopes is break them. Of course, if anyone wants to bring a telescope along . . . Hopefully someone from the Orchid Project will come along to at least one of them, too. And if any other charities or organisations fighting FGM would also like to come and spread the word, or even just post me along some leaflets to hand out, please do.

You can also sign the petition to allocate more funds to enforce the law banning FGM. (Not make more laws. We already have them.)

Nothing's finalised yet. But I've been in enough communication with the Orchid Project and with NGUC that it's time to announce what I'm up to! If you have any ideas, or would like to come along, please let me know. And most importantly . . . 

I need a name for this project. It's likely to run for a few months and I want it to be special. I want it to include something to do with women, stars and/or astronomy, and perhaps even orchids. But I'm open to other suggestions! Please do leave a comment or tweet me with yours. 

A galaxy we call "The Rose" at Galaxy Zoo; from SDSS.

Maybe I'll see you there.

Leave us alone: a P.S.

It's five weeks since I wrote that ranty post about being sexually harassed in public. That post generated a lot of excellent comments, a great many tweets, conversations, recommendations, e-mails, and someone I didn't think I even knew coming to sit next to me at a science event to tell me what a good post it was. It also drew the disapproval of a man who tweeted "Another day, another feminist who is missing my point", and the scorn of a woman who tweeted a friend of hers that the post was "very suspect" because I "look like junk". But something else I didn't expect has happened.

In those five weeks, I have not been sexually harassed once.

I haven't been shouted at, leered at, called anything, spoken to inappropriately . . . absolutely nothing. When I used to get it at least a couple of times a week.

There could be many reasons for this. The entire male population of Ilford and South Wales could have read it and mended their ways, for example. Or someone powerful, maybe even a God, might have forbidden them. Or they're too busy with the hot weather. Or I get harassed more when I'm covered up from the rain than when I'm in sleeveless tops or dresses. Or it's all just complete coincidence.

I think the likeliest thing is that the relief of setting it all out in public, and of the absolutely enormous and overwhelming support I got, privately and publicly, must have given me a new confidence that shows. Perhaps I stand taller. Perhaps I give off a different air. I don't consciously feel anything - other than a new-found enjoyment of my local area, a new feeling of freedom to wander through it as I please, rather than to get the hell home as soon as I can. And a new liking for my fellow folks of Ilford, many of whom are very nice, just like everywhere else.

Perhaps it's worth us girls doing an experiment - that anyone who has a blog, or is in the mood to start one, should write a similar rant! I'm not sure that would be very scientific (it would be a lot of fun, though).

Actually, there's something like that already going on at London IHollaback. (Note there's a national one and local ones.) There's a nice section about what you can do if you are a victim or a bystander. Remind me to write to them and share this story, please.

Men sometimes ask, "So what can we say, then?" I answered as best I could here (feel free to comment and disagree). But let's be honest, a gender neutral discussion is by far the most civilised in most cases. Have a read of this great imaginary conversation by Lauren Bravo.

And don't treat it as not a serious problem - the little woman being hysterical, etc. "Schrodinger's Rapist" explains why not. Yes, it is unfair on most well-intentioned men. Martin Robbins remarks in this great discussion with Laurie Penny about how to talk to men about sexism: "It’s not pleasant knowing that women feel vulnerable because of the behaviour of a – substantial – minority of my gender . . . I’m six foot two, big build, I will literally change my route to avoid, for example, following a woman up an alley."

Finally, if you need some cheering up, here are some great street harassment comebacks!

Thank you all so very much for being my readers and for making this happen. I hope it happens for all men and women - let me know where I can be of help!


Update: But, but - I didn't think anyone would seriously do the experiment . . .
Julie Gould: Leave Us Alone - the experiment
I recommend a read, she explores a slightly different side; a very moving post. Thank you so much Julie!

Leave us alone!

It is probably not good form to resurrect this blog after 4 months' silence whilst in a towering rage. Me in a towering rage is not a pretty sight. It's a good way to get writing, though. And both men and women need to read about this.

I love London. It's my home. I hope to spend much of my life here. But there's one thing I hate, that I've never had to deal with so much of before, and that's the repeated street harrassment. Nearly every time I leave the house to go to the shops, or get on the bus or train, you can guarantee that some man is going to yell something across the street at me, or come right up close to me and behave as if I owe it to him to be intimate. It's a matter of celebration when I can leave the house and come back without this happening.

It's not just London, of course. Trains in Wales are particularly irksome. On my way back here, a couple of guys sitting near me started asking me perfectly friendly questions - about how long it was to various stations,  what book I was reading, what I thought about the Big Bang etc. - all of which was fine; great, in fact. Then one of them sprang up, sat next to me, snatched my book, and started reading it out in a twelve-year-old school bully sort of voice. It promptly descended to the pair of them chanting at me and generally behaving like schoolchildren who know they're going to get away with poking and hitting me all the way through Assembly, because I can't move and nobody's going to stop them. I ended up carrying all my stuff to a different seat and telling the conductor, who just said "they're getting off at the next stop" and went away. I felt so mortified and self-conscious - there was another big chatty group of people nearby, who I think knew what was going on and certainly stared at me when I moved and spoke to the conductor - but hadn't a word to say. I wanted so desperately to hide. It was me who got stared at, me who had to take the action, me on whom all the responsibility fell.

That wasn't the worst incident, though. On another journey a few years ago to see my then boyfriend, a huge crowd of drunken rugby fans got on, and one man sat next to me. He kept asking me where I was going, did I have a boyfriend etc. I told him yes I did and kept my answers monosyllabic, because his manner made me uncomfortable. My looking out of the window, reading a book, etc., did nothing to deter his questions and reinforced his demanding, hurt tone. Finally I pretended to go to sleep. When I opened my eyes a few minutes later I jumped out of my skin to find he had angled his body so his mouth was right in front of mine ready to kiss me. (My face was pointed downwards before you ask.) There was nothing I could do. My voice had gone. No conductor could get through the crowds. If I yelled, his rugby mates would be the first witnesses. I just sprang to my feet (and had to climb over him) and got off the train as soon as I could.

In London, what usually happens is that two guys walking in the street, or standing on a doorstep, will call "hello darling" or "come here, girlie" or "Oi! Blondie!" at me. This is annoying, but I can ignore them and hope they don't follow me. Sometimes it'll be someone alone. One frightening incident was where another large man ran up to me while I was walking up the street, fell into step with me, told me off for walking too fast for him, boasted to me for a while about how he earned £50,000 a year, and then asked me out for a drink with him. When I said thank you very much, but no thanks, he followed me into the train station (which I hadn't been planning to go to) and asked me why not in the most expectant manner. Panicking, I lied that I had a boyfriend, and dashed through the ticket barriers and went a couple of stops away. It wasn't his words that bothered me, but his taking for granted that I simply had to say yes. I thought he'd drag me along and do what he liked to me. The other day, I was walking home, carrying a couple of shopping bags, looking at the ground and having a bit of a happy giggle to myself about an earlier conversation that day (do you ever notice people doing that? I love it when someone in the street spontaneously smiles or giggles, and I know they're thinking about something nice). Suddenly someone's face appeared about three inches in front of mine and he hissed "HELLO SWEETHEART!". As with all the other incidents, I was just startled into complete silence. I had no answer ready. The happiness was knocked out of me. I went home angry and frightened, feeling like I was at school again where I had no right to be safe from the bullies, keeping my head low but wondering if anyone knew where I lived or was following me home.

Fair enough, none of these incidences led to me actually being assaulted. They're nothing compared to what some of my friends have gone through. I used to get worse in horrible school discos where being groped and boys getting angry not to be kissed was part of the package. But they're a crap way to live your life. They make me wary and angry. They make me feel that because I'm female, I'm collective property and automatically available. The way a lot of them look at me - as if I do them wrong - suggests that they hold me personally responsible for their feelings, and that I owe them something. I just never know what they might do. They seem to think they have the automatic right to say what they like to me - what else do they think they have the right to do?

It gave me a sudden memory of when my sister and I were very small, too young to understand about these things, and our mum explaining such an incident to us. All we saw was that she suddenly stopped to talk to someone in the street, as boring grown-ups do. When we walked on, she calmly told us: "He tried to cuddle up to me, so I made him tell me where [something, I forget what] was, and then I made him leave me alone." Her voice, echoing in my brain, sounded sad and resigned. She had had to talk to him, she had had to be touched by him with two toddlers in tow, and she was putting a brave face on it.

The worst part is that I can't think of anything to do to improve the situation. I could yell at them, but that takes more guts than I've got and would just draw more attention to me and doubtless get me blamed - I doubt any members of the public would leap to my rescue. I can keep my head down and run away, which is what I generally do, but that indicates to them that they can get away with it and will keep doing it. There's no teacher on playground duty in the adult world.

But that's the thing. I am female and as such I am, by many, held responsible. (Check this if you don't believe this happens.)It's supposedly up to me to find some way to deal with this stuff. Never mind that it's nothing to do with being in the wrong place at the wrong time - that all these incidents occurred in public in broad daylight, not down some dark alley where respectable girls don't go. Never mind that they all occurred when I was thoroughly covered in jeans and coat and scruffy flat shoes - one time in the pouring rain with my hood up covering my hair and most of my face. Never mind that I don't wear make-up, or that the one time I did walk through London in a short dress, I was terrified the whole time and wished I hadn't worn it, but apart from a random tourist striking up an annoyingly long chat, I was left alone. Never mind that it also happens to a lady I know who is over fifty and exceedingly modest - even while she's riding her bicycle. There are many perceptions that it's down to how a woman looks or dresses, that it must be her fault.

I've written about blaming the victim before. It's a problem. It's a similar problem in cases of domestic violence, where it's very common to find bizarre ways to blame the woman or to somehow absolve the man (usually, though certainly not always, the perpetrator) of responsibility - "he just needs to feel better about himself", for example, when in fact his problem is that he does not see his partner as having the same rights as he does. (I strongly recommend my friend Natalie's posts about this issue. She's on Twitter as @God_Loves_Women. I'm not remotely religious but I really admire her and recommend you follow her!) It's all part of thinking that because someone's female, you can treat her how you like - and this gets woven into law, and her rights seen as incompatible with other people's, where such attitudes prevail.

All this is so sad for men as well as women. Most men I know are angry and upset to hear of me and other women being catcalled or otherwise harrassed. They worry about this happening to their female relatives and friends. They know it's not civilised and they would never do such a thing. (In fact, one man said he finds men who do such things intimidating, too.) Nobody's said so directly, but I suspect some men may worry about asking out a woman they like, for fear of being thought of one of the catcallers. They feel guilty on behalf of their own sex, which is awful. (Incidentally, both Rhys and Lee are currently fundraising for charities that work to improve things for women!) It's similar to the men who came along to the She is an Astronomer conference and are only too keen for more women to rise high in science. I hope nobody reading this thinks this blog is to criticise men!

I have a bad habit, by the way. I quite often explode on Twitter. Actually, Twitter's an excellent place to explode, because it moves so fast, the subject can move on when you've calmed down. And far more often than not people will check in and see if you're OK rather than put you down about it, and it's relatively anonymous. When I exploded recently about the man who hissed straight into my face, I got I think it must have been dozens of supportive messages. But when I came back home yesterday and tweeted "Something LOVELY happened today. I went into town and was not catcalled once!!! :-)" the point was, shall we say, not well understood.

One guy asked me: "What? Are you a supermodel?" and a couple more replied to the effect that this must mean I'm beautiful. I thanked them, I hope graciously and modestly, but assured them that I am not and that this was nothing to do with it. Being catcalled is nothing to do with appearance, and it is not a compliment. Unfortunately, I was not believed by all . . .

These are the nicer exchanges that took place. (Update: I had some screenshots here, with name, avatar and Twitter handle blanked out, but on reflection decided that was cruel. This person doesn't seem angry with me despite earning some furious replies from my followers. Please don't look for him. It took a long time to convince him that what was going on was not flattering or harmless, but it turned out to be genuine ignorance on his part. He deleted a lot of his tweets which were to the effect that it doesn't happen to ugly girls, so it should be seen as a "morale booster". These made me so angry - I am not Samantha Brick, I do not feel better if some random man thinks of me as better quality prey than another woman - that I unkindly retweeted him, and he got a LOT of stick. If you're reading this, Anon, I felt I should apologise for you getting all that stick, but I was stubborn and didn't want to go back on my point. And by the way, I'm sure you're not ugly.)

When asked if it was a good thing that I wasn't catcalled, and I said that it usually happens is bad and that it didn't happen today is good, his reaction was that "as an ugly bloke" he'd love to have such an obvious indicator that he was attractive, and that it was surely a good thing to happen to you. He felt that he couldn't relate to it since no women have pounced on him this way, and that not being a roadworker or builder, he wasn't a catcaller, and couldn't speak for them. (This was only a small part of the exchange.) The perception was that catcalling is something that a burly, practical, rather stupid class of males do, and that it constitutes shouting "you're beautiful" to beautiful girls, who prink and preen gleefully, and probably just continue on their way, feeling superior to other women and thus happy.

To give him his due, he admitted he had had no idea what it's really like and had learnt something new! And it definitely isn't like that. We get called intimate things by strangers, and are spoken to as if we are their property and should follow their orders. They violate our privacy and our space and our feeling of being able to leave the house safely. We look hysterical if we get upset, and everything we do makes it worse, and then it's our own fault for how we look or dress or just for being there among the world of men. We feel angry, helpless, humiliated, and alone.

Stellar, who was honked at six times within one minute when venturing into town last week (and has also had to put up with such things as men following her, and a bus driver saying "nice tits" when she was just a young teenager), joined the conversation, pointing out at the right time that it's not what a woman wears that causes the harrassment . . .

Then this person came along, who a) has had their account suspended, and b) whose anonymity I will make absolutely no effort to preserve:

 She replied calmly, as did NathanielBB. He wasn't having any . . .

I lost it.

I had actually tweeted this guy a few examples of very modestly dressed women who'd been harrassed, so as you can see, his attitude was "My mind's made up, don't confuse me with facts".

He may have just been a troll, but sadly what he says is hideously representative of what needs explaining. Again and again and again. Happily, it was cause for much celebration from several people when his account was suspended (it turned out it wasn't just me he was arguing with!).

I had the good fortune to be sent some excellent links by fellow Twitterers. "ihollaback", a site all about street harrassment in London, was tweeted to me by Becky (whose work I hope to write about in a later blogpost). Mike sent me this post he wrote about what "consent" means and is often taken to mean, which attracted some bizarre comments. Speaking of consent, this "Driver's Ed" on sexual consent, at Scarleteen, is excellent! Sent by Lee.) And Esther reminded me of @mencanstoprape, found at "Men Can Stop Rape", which is not the same thing I know (part of the same attitude, though, just a lot worse), which contains this delightful picture with which I shall leave you . . .

To fellow women this happens to, I support you. To fellow women free of it, it should always be this way. To men who disapprove and support us, and equally to men who did not know it was a problem but are open to finding out it is, thank you - you are not the problem but the solution, you shouldn't feel bad, and we need you all.

So you want to start a Skeptics in the Pub?

Two years ago, when still living in Wales, I learned of the existence of Skeptics in the Pub. Crispian Jago made it possible for me to go along to one with the fabulous "Jourdemayne", and I was instantly hooked.

As soon as I got into the "skeptical circle", a common cry was: "Why isn't there a Skeptics in the Pub anywhere in Wales?" which promptly progressed to: "Why don't you start one?" Because I didn't have a clue how, that was why! . . .

. . . well, eighteen months after that I found myself co-founder of both Cardiff and Hackney Skeptics - with Dean Burnett and James Robson respectively, and obviously I could never in a million years have done either without them - and occasionally am one of the criers of "Set one up in Place X!" to other people. So it occurs to me that I really ought to write about how to go about it.

It's pretty simple. You need: a venue, a projector, a screen, a microphone, a collaborator, some speakers and an audience.

There is of course no right and wrong recipe for a Skeptics in the Pub; you can vary the ingredients, adjust the baking time and present as whatever dish you please. So this recipe comes with a strong pinch of NaCl and plenty of freedom to suit your tastes. Just be sure to grease the pan with enough C2H5OH for your audience's liking (that can in fact be none, if they are not drinkers).

(Incidentally, these measurements are in imperial, not metric. That is, groups and accounts listed are British, not worldwide. There are worldwide groups, however, and if you are not in the UK I recommend getting in touch with them.)

Whilst Still Thinking . . .

If you're not already a regular somewhere, get a feel for what Skeptics in the Pub actually does. Check out what events are taking place (scroll down Simon Perry's website and check the "Events" table on the bottom right), see when a bunch of interesting looking ones are occurring, and take a few days off work and travel around the country. Talk to the organisers and to visitors.

Before you start . . .

Get your prospective Skeptics its own e-mail address. You will end up needing it for the following as well as to keep it organised and separate from everything else in your life.

This sounds trite, but set up a Facebook group. Call it something like "Skeptics in the Pub in...." [your local area]. If possible, don't be too restrictive about what your local area is. I chose "Wales" as an umbrella term, since I didn't know where it was going to be. Let the skeptical community know and ask them to join - post on their walls. (Here are Cardiff's and Hackney's if that helps. Search around with "Skeptics" and "SITP" and so on in the Search box.) Like as not you will find various people who come along saying "Oh I've been longing for one of these round here!" I actually didn't "do" Facebook until I thought I might try it out for the very purpose of setting this up, and was actually pleasantly surprised by the effectiveness of groups, if not the intelligence of some conversations. Still, if you most absolutely do not do Facebook, you probably have a friend who does.

Start a Twitter account. This is pretty simple. Tweet to the generic SITP account and do a Skeptics search and follow a bunch of people.

Important: personally, there's no way I could set up a Skeptics in the Pub by myself, so if you're like me, let people know you are looking for collaborators. (You don't have to say "yes" to anybody!) Of course, if you can do it by yourself, no need!

And, especially, contact Simon Perry (@Simon_Perry on Twitter) who has the keys to the master website. This is where you will be able to put up events. Make sure that the "contact form" goes to your SITP e-mail address, not to your personal one, or you will end up flooded if it's successful! Keep a special folder handy on your computer for all the speakers' pictures and any documents and fliers you make.

If anybody discourages you at any point, please read this. Apparently it's been helpful.

Choosing a Venue

Your ideal venue possesses all of the following characteristics:

- A separate function room;

- Wherever guests sit, they need a good view of where the slides will be;

- Be calm and friendly;

- Be fairly quiet - not go in for loud music, at least not while you're talking;

- Sound and projector equipment for talks (you'd be surprised how many pubs have these);

- Be near a train station and car park;

- Serve a variety of drinks and do food until relatively late;

- Smell nice;

- Be licensed for under-18s;

- Have staff who are all in favour of a regular meeting taking place;

- Not want all their customers to get raging drunk;

- Be clean and well looked after;

- Have disabled access;

- Have an awful lot of spare chairs;

- Not charge you

I don't think I've yet found anywhere with all these characteristics! When it's a pub that isn't looking to hold drunken discos, but rather maintains a mature, civilised atmosphere and welcomes some guaranteed income on a weeknight, that's the main thing. One pub said they would charge us £100 for the evening unless they made £500 off our audience. I don't know if they did make that, but after our first night they never mentioned charging us again, so they must be pretty happy with us!

If the bar staff are unfriendly or uninterested, if the manager doesn't seem keen on the idea, don't go anywhere near the place. Also, if it's loud or dirty, steer clear. If it doesn't serve food, look up nearby outlets that do.

Strictly speaking, the venue doesn't actually have to be a pub. (I once received an objection that holding it in a pub excluded people whose religious faiths forbade them to enter pubs, which of course is a problem!) Hackney, for instance, is an attic rather than a pub!

I have to confess, this isn't my strong point because Dean and James found the venues in our cases. When I arrived on the scene at Hackney, James had already found our attic. Dean however took me round Cardiff for a day of surveying eight different places. Both of us wore science T-shirts, making it the nerdiest pub crawl that had ever taken place in Cardiff. I cannot more strongly recommend a day of such a pub crawl, or a read of his blogpost about it.

What Day?

Most Skeptics in the Pubs run on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday night. And most run regularly, such as the second Thursday of the month, or what have you. (Cardiff is the third Monday of each month, and Hackney the last Monday.)

Make a list of the nearest Skeptics in the Pubs to yours - or even all of them, if you have time - and write down when they are. Put them into a table and pick a day when you don't clash. (Sadly this is difficult in London!)

Monday is a very popular night, since it's an especially quiet night for pubs. I could not recommend a weekend night less. Pubs will be having other, noisier things to do then. So, probably, will your guests and speakers.

Check what is a good day for the pub, too. If they always hold a bingo night or a Happy Hour on Wednesdays, or invite bands along on Tuesdays, avoid this day.

I must apologise here to James, who had to change our day from Tuesday to Monday (and thus risk clashing with Westminster and London) because I have lectures on Tuesday nights. Well, he was crazy enough to take me on board as a co-founder . . .

Finding Speakers

You need to pick a few speakers well before you launch. In fact, I'd personally say always leave a few months between launching in cyberspace and launching in real life!

Pick a variety of different subjects - do not confine it all to one of, say, politics/the supernatural/alternative medicine/science. Don't shout out too loud that you are looking for speakers if you aren't prepared to cope with some possible slightly odd offers. If one of the talks you've seen seems to hit the perfect note, as Simon Perry's did for me for Cardiff's launch, then contact that speaker.

Handy resources: the 21st Floor's List of Speakers and Hayley Stevens's She Talks. (Sadly the vast majority of Skeptics in the Pub speakers are male. You can decide for yourself whether or not you want to make a special effort to encourage women, or more young people or more ethnic minorities or what have you along.)

It's good to kick off with somebody fairly well-known - but these people may be very busy, and may also charge you a lot (not all of them, but some do!). Don't start off with a string of people coming from far away, as the travel expenses and staying over will come to a lot. If you're lucky enough to have a "local hero", make sure you snag them!

Advertising

So, you have your venue and plans - your Skeptics in the Pub is cooking! Now you want as many guests as possible!

I read a document - which I have since been unable to find - that your launch night sets the tone, and if only 8 people turn up to it, you're unlikely to have arranged much of a kick-off. I commented earlier that you should wait a few months between launching on the Internet and in real life. Pick a good time to launch: if it's just before Christmas or during the summer, everybody's going to be too busy. We timed Cardiff to kick off alongside the academic year to pull the students in. (In some places, students make up a large proportion of your attendees. In other places, there are virtually no students. It depends.) You may wish to include some fun gimmick for your launch such as a raffle or a competition to see who can come up with the most ridiculous idea for something or other.

When you've got your day, set it up as a Facebook event. Invite all your friends you think won't be offended. (Sadly, some will!) Tweet both the website event and the Facebook event like crazy. Mention it every day or two, at different times. Ask famous skeptics for a retweet. Don't hassle or spam anyone, but don't be embarrassed to say something you've already said this week.

Promote yourself through a variety of sources. Approach local newspapers. In fact, if you google "local newspaper [whatever area you live in]", you may come up with several more local rags than you even knew existed! Look for their contact forms and their events pages. List yours as an event. Write them a short note with some exciting or weird information - which the events are likely to contain! Put in very clearly what Skeptics in the Pub is. I personally like to explain that it's not about yelling "I don't believe you!" but that it is from the Greek word "Skepticos" meaning "to enquire or find out" - this was inspired by a beautiful interview with D J Groethe, which Tannice from Guildford Skeptics sent me.

You may well also find the council lists local events - add this. Approach the local radio (if you have any mates or mates of mates in radio or media, all the better). Print off some fliers - they can be hilarious or they can be very simple - and distribute them round shops, pubs, museums, libraries. Personally I feel very foolish and rude doing this. I have learned to have a look round, and then go up to whoever's behind the counter, smile very nicely, and ask if you can add your flier to their collection. If the person is remotely nice, invite them along!

Even supermarkets often have a "community noticeboard". I felt a particular satisfaction in placing an advert for Hackney Skeptics in my local Sainsbury's alongside an advert for psychic sessions. (By the way, do talk to the staff before you do this.) If you are a student, or know of any, see if you/they can get something into their student newspaper or find some other way to list it as a worthwhile event.

If you end up in an unfamiliar area - and quite a few organisers do - then make friends with local people to show you round and tell you where will accept fliers. I hope to meet a lovely lady named Sandra soon to distribute more Hackney fliers (which look amazing, by the way - not my artistry, sadly!).

Money

Usually Skeptics in the Pubs charge £2 or £3 for expenses. Many are exceedingly apologetic about charging anything - "Our events are free; we just ask for X to cover the speaker's expenses". I'm less apologetic, personally, probably because I travelled for 3 hours there and back to Cardiff Skeptics and never claimed expenses for my tickets or petrol. If you've done a load of work for this - which you should have! - and the speaker has come all this way, people can afford what usually amounts to less than the price of a drink! Besides, it irks me to be asked for money when I've been told that something is free.

Money might be collected before the talk, or during the interval, or after - perhaps in a pint glass or similar. This involves having to go round all the audience members, and try to avoid missing anyone out, which personally I don't enjoy doing. At Cardiff, we neatly combined ensuring that everyone paid with welcoming everyone, by having a table at the top of the stairs people climbed, with me and often another person - often Dean's wife Vinny - sitting behind it.

I liked this system because it ensured not only that everybody paid, but that we met and greeted all our members old and new. When they paid, we stamped their hand and had a laugh offering them a choice of stamps - a Bah Humbug, a gingerbread man, a star or a squiggly thing. (Except on the first night when I printed out a load of mini-tickets!) Have a float of pound coins ready as lots of people will give you a fiver or tenner. Have a greeting line ready for everybody - "Hi! How are you?" "Hi, thanks for coming, £3 please!" "Thank you very much indeed! Would you like a hand stamp so I don't ask you again?" At Hackney, the Picturehouse staff take care of that, which saves us a job but also removes some of the friendly personable aspect of it. (That also means that they take a fee from us, but in return they give us great service, a glitzy venue, free drinks for us and free food and drink for the speaker, so I'm not complaining!)

Have a nice big money jar, and for goodness sake don't do what I did every Cardiff Skeptics night without fail and leave it lying around. I once left it in the pub overnight. Thankfully, Dean got over there the next day and it was on the windowsill untouched!

Some places are incredibly conscientious and publish their financial records so people can see where their donations are going. I haven't been treasurer at either place, but I can say I've never once had anyone be the slightest bit suspicious of our finances or remotely resentful of paying.

Equipment

At least, you'll need a projector and cable - that preferably works with both PCs and Macs! - and a screen. You may be able to borrow these regularly, or may get donated old ones. (If you know of a good place to get them please let me know.) Before you launch, test them! You may end up needing the speaker's computer and the projector on a table in the middle of the front row of the audience. (There's nothing wrong with this. It gives the audience a place to put their drinks too.) Test it out, walk to the back of the pub and see how it looks from there. If, as in Cardiff, the speaker has the windows to the back of them, invest in a black sheet you can pin up!

Usually the speaker brings their own laptop - check this in advance - but it's good to have one of yours as well just in case theirs and your equipment refuse to speak to each other.

Also test the mike as these are notorious for failing. Another nice bit of equipment to have, if you've got/can afford one, is one of those clicky things the speaker can hold which moves between slides. (What's it called?) Of course, if it's a well equipped pub, they will have a mike and sound system of their own - the staff may or may not be willing to help you with it when it turns into a recalcitrant mystery!

Looking after the speaker

I give these tips more from the point of view of my own experiences as a speaker - which have on the whole been terrific; thank you to my many lovely hosts - than as an organiser. (If I fail on any, or I should add anything, let me know!)

Well in advance, ask them how they'd like to get there - by train or car or whatever. Lots will be very generous and book, or ask you to book, the cheapest train tickets available. Send them a map of exactly where the place is, so they can plan what time to leave. They'll probably want to arrive early to set up and get something to eat (or, if they're a new speaker, they may want to eat after the talk when they're less nervous!). Make sure you, or someone you trust, can arrive early too to meet them. Give them your phone number in case of emergencies (in fact, if you have a Skeptics talk of your own, don't give it at your own venue but keep it up your sleeve just in case the speaker drops out at the last minute!).

If they have travelled, they may need to stay over. If you or another organiser has a spare room, that's terrific. Some speakers, myself included, are happy to crash on a sofa - but not all. Look for fairly cheap hotels about the place - also feel free to post any good links to finding cheap rooms in the comments, please!

A travelling speaker will really appreciate having a map and directions from the station to the venue and the place they're staying in. Send these before the day they set off so they have time to print it out!

Ask in advance if and when they'd like to eat. If it's difficult to get from the station to the pub, and you have a car, it's really lovely to get picked up, though obviously only if this is feasible! If you're likely to arrive later than them, let them know. Upon arrival, ask them where they'd like to stand, so you can set up the microphone there, and check they're OK with the lights - it's awful if those are blinding or ruin the slides.

Before the talk - and I will love you forever if you do this for me - get a nice big glass of water they can reach when their throat dries up!

Be on hand for them. If the venue has several different rooms, don't scurry off with your mates into one whose existence they don't even know of so they spend the hour after their talk looking for you.

The Big Night!

Wow! It's actually happening! You're probably running around like a headless chicken - someone has to go and pick up the speaker from the station (their train has been delayed); you're either terrified that the seats aren't filling up (turns out twenty-odd of your audience are at the bar!) or delightedly bewildered that all your seats are full and there are still people coming in, and random pub visitors are asking "What's this?". Some clevercloggs turns up and responds to "Hi! Thanks for coming! Three pounds please!" with "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" or wants to discuss some minor objection or irrelevant philosophical point with you at extreme length. Everyone wants to know where the toilets are or where they can get food at once, interspersed with horrible moments of complete quiet where you feel you're standing there like a lemon supposed to do something and heaven knows what.

Don't start on the dot of 7:30 or whatever time you advertise - let people get last-minute drinks. It is a good idea to pop up to the microphone around that point and say hello everyone, thank you all so much for coming, we'll be starting in ten minutes, you can get drinks there and food there, toilets are that way, etc. Do go round and say "Hello, thanks for coming!" to as many people as possible. If they just smile vaguely and look blank, that's OK. If they look lost, it's OK to ask them "Hi, are you here for X Skeptics?" Don't talk to any one person all evening. It makes you look unapproachable.

When it's time to begin . . . Just get on and do it. I have started various introductions by hitting my teeth on the microphone and, once, when I was being introduced as a speaker, by walking into a projector and knocking my glasses to the floor. (A friend told me he once started a lecture by knocking over the lectern!) I have also tripped over the microphone wire, crashed to the floor, and had the microphone fall over and hit me. If someone as clumsy as me can do it, you can. It's your show.

Spend a couple of minutes introducing yourself and the idea of Skeptics in the Pub, how it began, how you came to launch this. Introduce anyone working with you. If you happen to know of other people also looking to start a Skeptics, ask them to raise their hands so they can meet each other in the break. Tell a funny Skeptic joke or story. Make any announcements that need making. Don't spend ages, but this is your moment set out your expectations for the evening and future evenings - you can establish, indirectly, whether you want this to be a shouty sort of group or a super-civilised one, for example. Tell the guests what's going to happen this evening - the usual format is introduction, speaker gives talk, 20 minute break for drinks, and then questions and answers; but of course there may be alterations or extras! It is also a good idea for the speaker's first slide to already be up by this time - either that or your own slide with a welcoming message and/or your website.

Then introduce the speaker, shut up, and let them get on with it!

There may be a bit of quiet hustle and bustle you have to deal with - people arriving late, or people jabbering at the back and preventing others from listening to the talk. Sadly you cannot focus your whole attention on the talk - keep an eye on your audience! If things go horribly wrong and they seem to be getting bored (unlikely!), have something up your sleeve for after the talk to make them laugh. This may also be your only chance to eat during the evening, and you will definitely need it.

Skeptics in the Pub is for dialogue and everybody is welcome to speak. But don't feel you have to let anyone abuse this. In the unlikely event that there's a troublesome person in the audience, don't leave it to the speaker to sort them out - you're in charge and have the right to run this how you like; tell them to either be polite or leave. The bar staff should be able to help you. (I once had an audience member who shouted annoying know-it-all comments throughout a talk I gave, but that's not nearly as bad as some scenes I've witnessed, such as an audience member giving a female speaker a lengthy flood of sweary abuse over the microphone.) Questions and answers is a particularly vulnerable time for this - establish with the speaker whether they want to pick the questions or whether you should. We once had a chap in the front row who kept asking questions without raising his hand, unaware that there were people behind him with their hands up and being made to wait for him again and again, and the speaker was too polite to ignore him. The speaker was conducting Q&A while I sat in the audience, so I opted to quietly go up up to him and tell him about the people behind him, and request that he wait. He looked annoyed, but didn't argue. Some people will frame an exceptionally long statement or complaint as a question - if this happens you may stop them and ask "What's your question?" If Questions and Answers drags on a long time - it once dragged on so long for me that I got a backache! - ask the speaker when they'd like to stop, and feel free to make some remark such as "Last question, please" or "Time for two more questions, and let's have them from people who haven't asked any yet."

If lots of people have come, celebrate this. If it's a few, make it cosy - for example, have everyone bunch up and speaker come and sit with them for questions and answers, and make each individual feel noticed and special. Tell the audience when the next talk will be and who it will be with (have this information on a slide). Encourage them to follow you on Twitter, join the Facebook group, and contact you if they can help with anything or have any suggestions. Have a notebook ready for e-mail addresses. Also have a not-too-tatty bit of paper and a pen ready for if anyone wants to be added to your e-mail list.

Thank the speaker and your audience for coming and bringing your dream into reality. You have collectively achieved something wonderful - especially you, the organiser - and you should be extremely proud.

And don't give up!

Ions are the 99%

Remember what you were taught in chemistry at school? It was very exact. Water is solid at 0°C, gas at 100°C, and liquid in between. Metals are solids; oxygen and nitrogen are gases. Gases like oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen and chlorine are invariably molecules containing two atoms of each element. Atoms like their outer "shells" to be "full" and join up with other atoms to reach this stability. Oxygen is electronegative: it likes to grab electrons. You never hear of an oxygen giving up its electrons to some other type of atom.

But there is nothing universal about this.

These are what, by A level at any rate, we call "standard conditions" - 25°C, Earth's atmospheric pressure, Earth's gravity, and with all the protections of Earth's atmosphere from the violent radiation from space.

Of course, we learn that it's not like that everywhere. The pressure at the bottom of the sea, for instance, is intense - "if you went there, you'd end up the size of a chip," my Chemistry teacher told us when we were about 13. And up at the top of the atmosphere, in the ozone layer, you hear about photodissociation and ultraviolet light (the type that is dangerous if you're out in it too long) snapping ordinary two-atom oxygen molecules in half, leading to each single oxygen atom joining up with a normal two-atom pair to make a three-atom molecule of ozone.

But all this is just on our little planet Earth: a tiny, tiny place in our great Universe.


(The Pale Blue Dot.)

What about on other planets? Well, we know the gas giants, such as Jupiter, are made largely of hydrogen. Jupiter is almost 318 times more massive than Earth, though less dense; and its gravity is gigantic. It is therefore hypothesised that hydrogen in its core is likely to be solid, behaving like a metal. (If you look on the Periodic Table of the elements you'll see that hydrogen, H, actually rests right above lithium, sodium, potassium etc. - due to having one electron in the outermost "shell"; and arrangements in common like this create characteristics in common.)

(Jupiter from NASA/JPL/Cassini's Photojournal. The Great Red Spot is on the right. On the left is a black circle - it's the moon Europa's shadow. It's worth zooming in!)

But Earth and Jupiter are planets. That means they're compact, cold and - in our cases; not in the case of Mercury, for example - there is a protective atmosphere. Off a planet, this stabilising gentleness is gone.

In space, you often get one atom - or fewer - knocking about in every cubic centimetre (it varies, of course, for example whether you're near a star or in a nebula or inside or outside a galaxy, etc. etc. In the meantime, you might enjoy this little bulletin of interstellar medium facts, from a lecture in Ohio). At sea level, the "standard conditions" on Earth, you get 100,00,000,000,000,000,000 or so. Marcus Chown likes to remind us that atoms are so numerous that every breath that you take will contain an atom breathed in by Marilyn Monroe!

This of course makes it pretty easy for molecules to find and bond with each other. In space, to be able to do this is very rare.

Apart from on nice cool compact places like planets, the only places you're likely to find actual molecules are inside nebulae. It wasn't until last August that it was announced that molecular oxygen - the type of oxygen we breathe in - was discovered in space. Molecular hydrogen of course is better known, and carbon monoxide - the same type of carbon monoxide that is poisonous - is a good "tracer". That means that it's easy to find by its spectrum, so astronomers look for it as an indication of what else is going on around the place.

There is, according to the APOD I nicked it from anyway, molecular gas here. It's been able to form molecules because - although even though those dark "pillars", similar to the marvellous "Pillars of Creation", are devastatingly empty and thin compared to what we know - the environment is dense enough to block out a lot of light. ("Light" is a loose term for what stars give out. You've probably heard of ultra-violet radiation damaging your skin. That's the same type of thing as light, but it's a shorter wavelength we can see. Shorter still are X-rays. Hot stars and energetic environments give those out too. Longer include microwaves, infra-red, etc.) This does two things. Firstly, it allows the gas to cool and condense. Secondly, a lot of light in space (electromagnetic radiation) is "ionizing": it knocks the electrons' atoms right off!

99% of atoms in space are ions. Lone electrons, or (as "ion" usually means) a charged nucleus - a proton if it's hydrogen, or a ball of protons and neutrons if it's anything else. Some of these nuclei may retain some of their electrons. This completely changes their properties - they become much more affected by electric and magnetic fields, for example.

Stars are almost all ions - unless they're incredibly cool stars. So is most of the interstellar medium. All that radiation flying around is no match for poor lonely atoms. They might find an electron and combine with it, but chances are it'll be knocked off again before too long.

And this is the norm. The orderly, neutral molecules that make up the Earth we know behave as only 1% of the matter in the Universe behaves. The upper atmosphere is full of ions that bear the brunt of the stronger radiation from the Sun. By having their electrons knocked off, they absorb the energy and let the rest of the planet go relatively unmolested!

This ionization is what we noticed going on when we discovered the "Pea" galaxies: that oxygen, that really electronegative atom that loved electrons, was present and getting two electrons knocked off. (Of course there was a great deal more hydrogen, but oxygen shows up better in the spectrum.) This happens pretty frequently in space, of course, but things were really firing up in those peas!

One of the units I'm studying this semester is called "Astrophysical Plasmas". You'll have heard that matter is a solid, a liquid or a gas. If they taught you much science, you'll have heard of the fourth state: plasma. Plasma, as you've probably guessed by now, is the state of matter when some or all of the atoms' electrons have been torn off, whether by radiation or electricity or intense heat. It behaves like a gas - even in the centres of stars where it is millions of times denser than any environment you get on earth. Most of the Sun is a plasma, as is the solar wind that triggers the Aurora.

You'll have seen gorgeous pictures of the Aurora from the ground, for example this lovely picture from Alaska Photographics - and also this footage of the Aurora in real-time from the Bad Astronomer is breathtaking to watch.

Looking at it from space, you can see that it's going on very high up in the atmosphere . . .

. . . and, in fact, that the Earth's magnetic field direct the charged particles from the solar wind to form rings around the poles (in this case, the South pole - the Aurora Australis).

The Aurora is caused when charged particles strike oxygen and nitrogen in the magnetosphere of the Earth's upper atmosphere. The molecules don't zoom around in those dancing curtains. It's different areas being struck at different times - like the light from a torch moves around when you point the torch in different directions.

What happens is ionization, or excitation of an electron - the same mechanism, but without enough energy to actually kick the electron free! Two charged particles from the Sun strike, say, two nitrogen atoms. One loses its electron altogether - and becomes an ion, one of the "99%". The other's electron gets "excited", into a higher energy state, but doesn't actually lose the electron. Later, the nitrogen ion finds an electron (maybe the one it had before, maybe another) to recombine with. This releases energy in the form of blue light. The other nitrogen atom's electron also falls back into a lower-energy state, releasing red light. (This process is described here.)

The oddness of ions doesn't stop there. Our lecturer gave us the example of a gyroscope: that when you push it forwards, it will move left or right; and charged particles can behave in this counterintuitive way, too. (We write about parallel and perpendicular vectors quite a lot in Astrophysical Plasmas - and, if you don't mind, I'm not going to go into that here, for I may well make a fool of myself.)

I mentioned earlier that the properties change and that magnetic fields have an effect on them. Ions in a magnetic field will gyrate as if they are sliding along a spring: round and round (in opposite ways depending on their charge!), and along, sometimes at right angles to forces acting on them. And sometimes they will reach a point in the magnetic field where they are "mirrored" - it is as if they hit a brick wall and are bounced straight back in the other direction.

And this is what helps create the van Allen belts around our little blue planet.

The van Allen belts, although - like the Earth's upper atmosphere - help protect us from solar radiation, are dangerous areas spacecraft have to watch out for. They are lobes of ions from the solar wind and our own atmosphere that are held in place by the Earth's magnetic fields. Some ions travel along in a banana-shaped object from the North Pole to the South, and vice versa - because when they stray too near the pole, the Earth's magnetic field lines become closer and closer together, and eventually this causes the "mirroring" of the particle - and it will zoom back off in the banana-shaped orbit. It's a bit like a skateboarder on one of those amazing curved platforms in the park, who doesn't go quite fast enough to get to the top and rushes back down again. He speeds up as he reaches the bottom and zooms his way back up the other end - but slows again towards the top. It's a constant motion, like a pendulum; potential and kinetic energy swap places again and again as the particle goes back and forth.

Charges make particles do very strange things.